Word's of wisdom,

Those words are totally right and it is exactly like that. At least I am happy over one thing and that is, I do not afraid anymore to stay for me. I do not follow the flow anymore and I believe that this is a good and healthy sign just for me since before I did not concentrate on me, I did as everyone expected from me. I said yes to all what others wanted and did not say anymore no. Now, those times are over. I am very happy over that. Finally I do something what is good for me. Not many persons like it, but it is time to start to finish to think, what others are wanting.

There will be always someone who does not like that. In Estonia we say, As village to the dog, so is the dog to the village. Now it is my time to be to those persons as they has been towards to me. But mostly I am still as I am - kind, warmhearted, caring and friendly persons, just some persons has stepped my tale way too long time. Before I accepted it and let people to do it, now all this is time is over.
Love,
         Ingrit

Happy girl on her rocky road,

Today I am bit happy girl on my rocky road. Today I founded a small friend, who finally have been started to show me a friendly numbers. Must admit only, that I still hate the number, but I am working on it, that I will sooner or later will like the number my weight will show to me.
Still I am also feeling happy over it, since it is smaller than I ever have been. I can finally go and buy a clothes from ordinary shops. This is something I am not so much to used to do. Feeling, what it gives is amazing and it makes me feel good, but still in the same time very strange. No more need to visit department for big size clothes even thought i am going there automatically.
Now, I am going to find my pillow. Happy girl on her rocky road need a beauty sleep :D
Have a nice evening,
                                  Ingrit

Already 5 years,

As I have said before, in some day days are flying and other days they are goings so slowly as the snails. Any how, I have managed, that today it is exactly 5 years since I moved from Estonia to Sweden. Day before came Tommy with morning boat to Tallinn to get me. He and my brother helped to pack the car and in the evening, we took boat back towards to Sweden. A evening on boat, nice autumn evening and colors, a lot of different thoughts and feelings.
Now, 5 years after that day, my thought and feelings are much more riven. Of course this time has given me good times, fun times, but it as also given me a lot of sad and horrible times. Most of those times I just would like to forget. A lot of things have been happened during this 5 years. It also has given a lot of different life lessons, where some of the lessons has been very expensive and have affected just not only me, but also my husband and rest of the family quite a lot.
During this time here in Sweden I have seen so many nice places and nature. I have gain some really good friends, who I can trust and rely. That has helped me during this last year, when I have had really though times. Friends who supports me, even thought I have made mistakes or I say no to some questions. Seems that not all persons can do it. One thing I am happy, during that year, I have gain little bit more confidence and I am able to say No and stand more on my own opinion. I just not follow the flow anymore. For me that is a quite big step.
During this year, it has been happen also other good things for me. Members in our local Lions Club elected me one more year as the club president. The first Lions year as club president has been interesting and it gave me a lot more knowledge, confidence. I have got to know a lot of new wonderful persons. All this has been very positive for me. I have learn to know some more new persons, who has enriched my life with friendliness, carefulness and kindness. Something, what has been helped through hard times. It also have happened some more sad things. Some kind persons have left this world and have joined with other angels. The company is almost finished and finally that era is over. In so many ways I am happy for that. It has been made that I can feel myself much more calmed and hopefully soon bit more happy.
Finally I also got my shoulder operation. Now it is just to wait and see what the result will be. In my feelings, I just would like to see result today and right now, but I have to be patient and let it take all this time it needs to take. 
This year has been as it has been. As american mountain. I hope really that next year will be little bit more better and nicer for me, but we will see it next year.

Hello autumn,

Today starts officially autumn and we can say good bye to summer. Yesterdays weather was quite right beginning for autumn - cold, windy and rainy. Today is totally different day from yesterday. It is bit chilly and sun is shining and we can see this wonderful autumn colors. The minus with autumn is, that we never don't know what we can wait from the day or week. It is also time for dark evenings and mornings and when it is raining and it is cloudy, when it is more darker.
One reason why I like autumn is all the beautiful colors, but I do not like rain, cold and mud. That is big reason why I love winter, when the cold is real, snow makes evenings and nights much more lighter and what is main reason - No mud, just nice white landscape.
Have a nice beginning of autumn and hopefully winter arrives soon.

Gluten and lactose free apple cake,

For some weeks ago, we had guests our home and I was need to make something for the coffee. Since I have got problems with gluten, the cake was have to be gluten free and also lactose free, since that allergy I have had since one year after moving to Sweden. Quite strange, but I am happy that there is so many possibilities to get good food what is free of gluten and lactose.

Here is recipe for my apple cake  what  is free of lactose and gluten but also what tastes very good in my opinion. Recipe for the bottom I got from my friend, who could help me in that question. I am happy that I have someone to turn in those kind of questions and also discus about that kind of food.

Ingredients:

Bottom: 
120 gr cold lactose free butter
120 gr rice flower
130 gr almond flower
0,75 teaspoon salt
1 large egg

Filling: 
7  medium apples (little bit sour)
3 egg
300 gr cottage cheese
1 dl or less sugar
3 teaspoon cinnamon
2 teaspoon cardamom

Mix all ingredients for bottom together and spread it on a baking form. I used a silicon baking form and  it did not needed to use any butter or something to bake, but if you are using glass or ceramic baking form, when you need first grease the form and when spread dough out on it.
Peel and take out seeds  from apples and chop them.  Mix chopped apples with cinnamon, cardamom and sugar. Fill the cake bottom with apples. Mix together egg and cottage cheese. Pour over the apples. Bake in 180 degrees for 45-55 minutes.

Serve together with vanilla souse or vanilla ice cream.

I can say that it tasted good. Not much difference that instead usual wheat flour I had used almond and rice flour. Taste was still same as cake has only perhaps little bit smoother taste. Hard to explain :)

Bon Appetit!
                       Love,
                                Ingrit