Swedish midsummer,

For this year is celebration of midsummer over in Sweden. It has been nice weekend with friends and family. Also this year, as other years, I have tried to combined midsummer traditions from Estonia and from Sweden.
This years lunch was traditional Swedish midsummer lunch with new fresh potatoes, creme fraiche, herring and midsummer shot. We also had good egg halves with shrimps. Tasted good. Also as one Swedish tradition is, when I had made strawberry cake. No one have never explained me, why this is a tradition but I still liked to make something good.
In evening it was time to have bit Estonian traditions. Marinated shashlik and fresh potato salad was exactly what we needed and after that we just enjoyed the good time with talk and so. I also could light a fire, what is another tradition from Estonia. It is one of the thing, what is must in midsummer in Estonia and since I have grown up with those traditions and I love the living fire. It gives so good feeling and lets to forget all the things what makes trouble in the brain and I just can enjoy the fire. 
In this year, I wished that I could spend midsummer in Estonia, but not surprisingly, I cannot do it. Not much of my plans have went as I would have wished during this year.  It would had been nice to have a traditional midsummer with friends and family in Estonia, but hopefully another time I can have it. 
This midsummer was good another ways for me and that I have written in my other blog entries. This year I could celebrate midsummer with friends and family here and that was also good. On Saturday we had quiet day at home. Drove one friend home and got visit another friend. Else we just enjoyed day together with my husband and booked my flight to home to Estonia,  so that I can see my family and to talk in Estonian language again. 

This year we had that kind of traditions. Will see, what next year has with it and how the midsummer will be then.
Have a nice evening,
                                  Love,
                                            Ingrit

My rocky road,

My road with my fighting with my weight has been as rocky mountain. It has been long fight around 25 years.
On Wednesday I could buy a 2 blouses in size 40. Today morning I got another surprise, when I was look how much I weight. For first time after long time I am under 90 kg. That was made my midsummer evening day. I see that in finally, it goes in right direction and it feels good.
In my highest weight I have been 163 kg and I did not feel well. My health was ok, but my self confidence was very low. Had no confidence at all.When game out that my hormones was not ok and I got medicine for that. That made that I went down to ca 120 kg.
During a many years I have weight over 100 kg. Since march this year I have started slowly to go down. Today morning I was under 90 kg and it made me so happy again, since I can see, that my weight is on the right direction. When my weight went under 100, I promised to myself, that I will never be over 100 again. This promise to my self I will keep. I feel much better today. I don't have to take anymore pills for my high blood pressure, I have more energy to do things and I feeling more happy. Most of all I have got back my self confidence and  I do not follow the flow longer. I have started to say my own opinion out more and it has showed that, there is persons, who does not like it. So, totally until today I have lost 34,6.  I will continue my fight on my rocky road and hopefully one day I am normal girl again.

Have a nice day,
                            Love,
                                       Ingrit

Happy girl,

Yesterday it was an happy day for me. In so many ways I feel that it has been my day even thought for some people that does not mean much at all.
Since last year in august I have felt sad and down more or less every day. So many things have been happened since then. A lot of tears has been run.
Yesterday I had again tears running. For a first time it was from happiness. For over 20 years I have fight with overweight. It has always been hard to find a clothes what have fit precisely and from size 48 since I was teenage and later even bigger. Last 10 years I have had size 52/54. Yesterday when I was in Borås I visited one shop. An ordinary shop, what had clothes up to size 46. My eyes found one blouse, what had nice colors and would have been perfect just for summer. When I saw size I thought that it is not even worth to try. That size would never fit me. I saw another item and felt the same. I was close to get out of shop then there came that, I should try. Else I would be sad and will tear my brain small pieces if I do not know the answer.
So I did. i tried both of the blouses. The result was that I bought them both. I would never could dream that I in one day can fit in size 40. One of them was in stretch material but another was not. When I had the last one on, then I just started to cry in fitting room. Those tears was happy tears. Owner of the shop came and asked am I ok and I explained her why I had tears. She told me, that this bought will be as present for my self after all this fight with my weight. Those 2 pieces is a memory for my happy day and she is right. It is an happy day for a happy girl. For a girl, who can fit a blouse in size 40. There will never be more bought in size 52/54 or bigger. It was make me very happy and hopefully there will come more those kind of days.

Love,
          Ingrit

Word's of wisdom,

Today's word of wisdom comes from Louise Hay. Those words are something I am trying to live after since a month ago, since when I understood totally what is important in this life. Life is too short to hate someone! Those persons are not worth it.
Have a wonderful Saturday and enjoy the sun!
Love,
           Ingrit

Afternoon in the city,

Today I have been a good girl. After my meeting with school and with health insurance i could have little bit time for me and for my friends. It ended with good lunch and after that a small dessert. It was a good Italian ice-cream. A well deserved ice-cream if I am honest, since after my operation, today was first time I had walked nearly 3 kilometers. It was fantastic feeling, but it made me also very tired. So after I came home and spent some time in outside, I laid to sofa and just fell to sleep. I did not hear even, when my husband came home.
After dinner, we took a small walk together as well. It feels so good to be out in nature. It seemed that it had rained before, so the air was fresh and sun was out. Just a good time to walk and even my small cute dog was happy for that extra walkng tripp :)
Have a nice evening and we will hear soon again, since it feels like I can start to be little bit more like me and it feels so good. It has took already so much of me and my life to fight with all of it.
Love,
             Ingrit