Since last year, we have tried to go through different courses and meetings with social services here in Jönköping for at adopt a child. Now this journey is over for us and we can breath again and live our loves as normal couple again. It feels good, but in the same time, that long road has not been easy for us. It has been full of sad moments and negative moments and fair, how will be the end result.
Now, when we know, how it is, we, do not know, how we should react for it. Should we be happy or should we be sad. At least at the moment, we can be both, since it seems, that that same kind of thing, can't happen with someone else. At least, this is what we both hoping for. It would be sad to see someone other couples to go through that hell, what we just had to go through.
First course, how to be a adoptive parent,went very well. After that course, started our meetings with social services. In the beginning, we felt that they went well, but after second meeting, we started to feel, that nooo, this does not go all that direction as it should, that it goes opposite instead. Every thing we said, they saw just the negative things.
It was bad, that I live here and my family lives in Estonia and that would make, that they can not help us. They said also in their report, that our social net is not big enough. We just decided to take there people, who are close to us and care for us and in the same time, who we trust. Seems, that this was not good enough for those 2 persons. They wanted it to be bigger.
They accused my love to be square minded, yeah sure. I would like to see, would someone open himself/herself to social services, if you are accused to say wrong things. They should be objective in that case, but in the end, we could see, that they are not that. They just wanted to see only negative on all of this and us.
After we was done with meetings and it was time for us, to go to social board to get permission for adoption, when it went not as we hoped. In the same we did not get no, but got new meeting in march this year.
One thing was sure, we were happy, that we did not have to meet those 2 persons from social services again and that made our day. I just had to represent new medical paper, to show, that my BMI is normal and goes down and it still going down. Good for me :) I am liking my new me :)
For those meetings, we got also papers from social services, and we must say, we was surprised. One of the workers wrote every single meeting and when we had opportunity to read the papers and had do send in mistakes, when seemed, that all what they wrote was upside down. We wondered, what is a point to write all this, if you can't do it right from the beginning... We changed mistakes, got new paper and still some mistakes we wrote, was unchanged... Question was, what is a point to write, if you still do not change it and leaving it as you want and seeing it...
Before first meeting, we made our own document, what we wanted to leave for social board. We said, what they wanted to know and answered to their questions and left the paper by telling them - no matter what decision they take and do, it will not change anything for us, since that was what we had got to know from Adoptionscentrum. They had read through the paper we got from social services and told us, that with so negative paper, we have no chance to adopt a child. Sad, very sad. Seems, that this sentence and our text made some point, since after the meeting we got phone call from secretary in social board, and told, us, that board needs time to work through our paper and social services has to write medical paper all in one. They also told, that they will have new meeting in the beginning of April to discuss our case. We were not invited to that meeting and we did not know, what to wait for it.
Friday in this week, we got letter from social board and it turned our emotions upside down. We got permission to adopt a child and it is valid for 2 years. We was so surprised to that. In the same time, it had also notice that Social board have made an application for social ministry about those 2 persons from social services, since the board had found many mistakes and no objectiveness and nonchalances towards for us. So, now we have contact adoptionscentrum again and will see, does this helps us or not. At least, we are hoping that all this helps other couples, who have same situation as we have.
We felt that we was teared open, and we could not protect us and still that was not enough for social services. Not surprised when to hear, how people are afraid to meet social services. After that experience are we also more afraid to meet them.
We just hoping that others have more luck, when we did or do.
