Monday evening,

I think I want new year. It feels like it is not my day or my evening. Feels, like all things no matter I do, will not end as I would like or hope or want. Why we need to have those days, when we feel, that we are very close to give up. Who knows, perhaps we have done it already. I feel, like I am very close to give all up, including wedding and it is not that I am nervous or so, just so many other things, reasons and thoughts.
It has been nice day until to now when we arrived home. Feels like, some kind of bottom is somewhere, but how long the fall would be, that would be good question, since no one does not know that.
When I am sad, I try to read things, what should give positive thoughts, energy, but it does not help always. In those days I am missing to talk with my mother, and I can't do it, and to talk with other family members or so, it would not be same and same time, they are mad to me as well, so, no point to talk with them either and in the end, that makes me to feel, that I am alone in those moments and thinking those thoughts.
I would want to cry and I can't do that either, since tears does not help me either with it. What should I do..., how should I be..., is there anything I do right enough... I feel that I am close to go crazy with all this sadness inside me and my thoughts, and it does not help me or others if I will talk about it. How should a person get lost in the thoughts and not only in thoughts, how to get lost at all, so that no one would not find me...

Veckans visdomsord / Weeks words of wisdom

När du, vem du än är och vad du än gör, verkligen vill någonting beror det på att din vilja har uppstått i universums själ. Detta är ditt uppdrag på jorden.

Dagens visdomsord / Today's words of wisdom,

Det finns något gott dolt i allt som kan verka negativt. Om vi kan vara förvissade om att det goda är det enda som existerar även i en negativ situation omvandlas till något som är alltigenom gott. De flesta människor håller det goda ifrån sig genom att betrakta saker som dåliga, och då blir det naturligtvis deras verklighet. Men det finns inget dåligt i universum, det handlar bara om vår oförmåga att se klart på saker och att se saker ur ett större perspektiv.

Inre frid kommer ur vetskapen om att det goda är det enda som existerar. 

There is something good hidden in anything that might seem negative. If we can be assured that the good is all that exists even in a negative situation into something that is altogether good. Most people agree the best from themselves by considering things that are bad, and then it becomes their reality, of course. But there is nothing bad in the universe, it is simply our inability to see clearly at things and see things from a broader perspective.

Inner peace comes from knowing that the good is all that exists.