It is another cold and rainy day outside. It is just perfect or is it... I understand, that some people are thrilled when it is raining, but enough is just enough.
I love winter and I love spring, but that does not mean, that I love raining days. One day - OK, I can buy it, since fields, corn and nature needs it, but more days is quite unnecessary. That is just my opinion or perhaps I am just grouchy.
Might be several things or probably all. Mostly I believe it is that I liked this nice weather and to sit on my balcony and get well after all this, what have happened during last 3 weeks and even longer period.
One thing I am sure, I have started to think a little bit more for myself at least as well. It feels just bit strange, since I am never done that before. This is my first times to do it and I have started to feel actually better for myself. I have started to feel, that even I am something worth and not only let some people to just step on me and make me feel worthless as I have felt most of the life. I must admit, that I am happy over that feeling. Me, who most of my life have had low self confidence and low self-esteem. I have always let people to do, to say to me and to make me feel zero! Not anymore! Seems on the other hand that some people does not like it, that I have started to stand up for me. That I have started to say NO. I have not changed much, just realized how short life suddenly can be. Twice under 8 months period to get that reminder, is twice too many times. We should not get those kind of reminders, since last reminder for me was way too close.
People who really loving me, will take me as I am, will take me who I am and do not want to change me, who I am not. They still love me, if I make mistakes, if I learn on my road and even if I say no. I am very happy that I have those people in my life. They support me, they help me, they give their criticism, but they still love me as I am, by the end of the day and giving me a big hug or pillow, when my tears are running. I love them all and they also knowing, that I will be here for them.
Now, I hope that soon will come sun after the raining. So much things out in our garden is still need to be done and when we can have both summer and autumn, so that winter could arrive again. Yes, I know, I love winter.
Have a nice evening,
Love,
Ingrit
