Finally it is a last day of 2015. Just couple of hours and 2016 will arrive. I just can say finally!
It hasn't been my year in so many ways and on the other hand i am very thankful for the year and for the people in my life.
It has been year full of tears, laugh, it has been full of sorrow and good times, it has been showed, who has been walked out of my life and who has stayed or came into my life. Something still has left for me and that is, that I am thankful for this year, that I have managed to handle it. I feeling happy over that.
Year started quite quietly after the last years challenges. I thought that finally, it will be my year, what I had waited for so long, but how wrong I could be. Instead of taking easy, happened so many thing in my life. Some could stayed away, but as usually it does not go as we wish. I hoped to not have any operations this year, but had several and still the issue is there, because it seems so hard to make an operation as it should be. Yes, I sound bit bitter and cranky, but I think, that if I will end up in operation table, I have trusted my life and my body in hands of surgeons, but they still managed to fuck up those. So, will see how many operations will waiting me next year. I am happy, that I can close the door almost with the company we had. Just last things to tie up and that lesson of life can be finished. It has been very expensive lesson both in economically as well emotionally. But I am happy that those people are not in my life anymore after that. Not totally my choice, but I do not let my life to stop over that. Have so many other things what struggles it, so I do not need more. That is other person choice as well, since last times I have not even deserved to meet or even say hello, but not my lost. I also have started in university again. Not totally my own choice, but on the other hand, if I want to work with that, what I love, I need to take Swedish exam as well. Will see how it goes, since the high morphine doses for a quite long time, have left it's problems. Hopefully one day they will disappear, but that would need to mean that no more morphine. Actually I was 4 months without morphine, but pains have vent worse again and 1,5 weeks ago I got it back. That did not make me happy, but other painkillers was just as candy in the end and did not help at all. Ok, even not totally yet together with morphine as well, but dreams and hopes dies last. Else the ER is close to go, if something happens.
I have had also good times. I have my husband next to me, who is supporting me. I think without him by side, I had given up for a very long time ago. He showed me why it is worth to fight and not to give up. I have my friends by my side. We have had good times together and sad times. We do not meet always, but we knowing that we is here to each other. I have met new people, who have became into my life and specially one person I am very thankful. Thank you for her, I have not yet given up my studies in university. I have missed to see my family and friends, but soon I will see them. I am very happy over that I have seen many nice places during a year, here in Sweden. I have been visited twice Denmark. The country I have missed.
Yes, it has been a year, that I preferably would love to forget, but those small good times, have helped me through it. I am thankful for all small good moments and thankful for lessons life has learned. Usually we saying that one time we make a mistake, we take it as lesson, second and third time same lesson, it will became to our choice. Thank you for the good moments in my life, what helped me through 2015.
I would like to wish you all a Happy New Year! May 2016 come as wonderful as you wish it. What is about me, when I hope that my new year will became bit more better, than 2015 was for me, but that I can see first on 31 December 2016 how my year has been. Until then, have a good evening with friends and family, create a wonderful memories, drink some bubble and just enjoy your time.
Love,
Ingrit
